Paddleton (2019): My first serious Letterboxd review

Originally posted on Letterboxd on 18th June, 2020

Vulnerable, raw and enriching;

Paddleton is a beautifully crafted story that is perfectly told. Making use of show-not-tell, the dialogue is natural and organic and full of raw emotion and realism.

Nothing is directly explained to the audience from the get-go, instead being slowly explained over the entire duration of the film. The off-beat nature and pacing lend itself to the film's genuine and organic feeling.

The two main characters Andy and Michael live very simple lives while enjoying each other's company. They try to carry on living their lives but can't ignore the elephant in the room; Michael has been diagnosed with an incurable disease.

Andy struggles with understanding the weight of the situation, trying to grasp at straws to protect Michael as well as himself from potentially losing his friend.

On the other side of the coin, Michael wants to live out the rest of his days like he's always had alongside Andy, and worries about the void that he'll create in Andy's life after passing.

Initially, both of them try to put on a brave front and act like nothing's wrong, but as the gravity of the situation sets in and is reinforced (after receiving the prescribed lethal dosage of medicine),

Initially, it's shown that Andy is not a perfect individual, and needs Michael to act as a sort of foil to his character, but as the film goes on, we notice that Michael needs him just as much too.

There's a beautiful moment in the movie somewhere after the climax where the two reconcile after an argument. Andy confronts his worries about losing Michael while Michael understands that things just can't be the same anymore. Both of them come to a common understanding that they can no longer turn a blind eye towards the issue anymore and that the only way to go forward now is to accept it.

So much can be derived from just subtext in this film.

The narrative structure of the film follows the 5 stages of grief loosely, starting out with Denial, then Anger, then Bargaining, then Depression, and then eventually Acceptance. Gradually, the dialogue peels back layer after layer until we see the vulnerable selves of the two protagonists in the final few moments before the euthanasia pills are to be taken.

I've never felt so empty yet so whole at the same time, this is the hardest I've ever cried while watching a movie ever. Something just so raw and realistic that you can't help but empathise and relate personal experiences to.

...

Before this review, I had never fully gotten into the medium of film, only thinking of movies as something to put on in the background. I had not considered how film could impart experiences onto an audience; how it could make you feel and think and leave you in a state of contemplation. 

This is one of the first films that left its mark on me, I'll forever hold it dear.